Two Years Later

Posted on Jan 10, 2019

Lake Eola Farmer’s Market on Sundays Wow…having a baby can certainly put a hold on a lot of things! In the last two years rather than slowing down, I have been a very, VERY busy midwife. I thought I would have the opportunity to savor my children more by joining a large, multi-midwife birth center practice and putting my small, private practice on hold. At the time, with a new, barely one year old baby I was struggling with the demands of owning a business and practicing as a midwife within that business. What I learned during these last two years both from a clinical standpoint and as a business owner was invaluable. I’m grateful for the experience in more ways than I can say. One of the things I realized in the process was how I had put my own vision on the back burner out of just plain fear. I am a huge advocate for people living life more fully, being happy, following their bliss, and creating what it is we want in life NOW. Yet, there I was, not living out what I truly believed in my heart. I was serving families…many, many families, yet I felt stretched thin with hardly anything left for myself or my children. Something had to change. Something had to give. I knew I would not let that ‘something’ be mine or my children’s emotional well-being. We are much too precious and our relationship much too important for me to let that happen. It was time to return to my vision and to my beautiful, cozy, and intimate ‘Sacred Birth’ practice. It was time to re-calibrate and re-align with my beliefs. It was time to build the sisterhood I really craved in midwifery and to build community around that sisterhood. I had some additional clarity in the process. I remembered that I am also a true advocate of bringing birth back home (for low-risk, healthy women). HOME is where I truly feel babies should be born. Not only to protect their precious micro biome but because I feel it is the natural order of things. After all, home is where the love that made this baby likely grew. Home is where this baby was likely conceived. Home is where it’s mama likely feels most comfortable, thereby ‘feeding’ her baby all those wonderful, feel-good hormones. Home is likely where it’s mama feels safest to ‘let go’, a process she must do in order to give birth. I know home birth is not for everyone and I appreciate the institutions that are in place for those families that don’t align with the idea. Birthing centers are a beautiful option for some families and serve as a cultural ‘in-between’ comfort zone between home and hospital. I feel they are needed in all communities. In re-aligning with my beliefs I realized I need to place my energy and attention on the change I actually wish to see. I need to ‘do’ midwifery in a way that feeds my soul and that will only be possible by balancing it with my needs as a mother and as a woman. It will be possible by slowing down and savoring my children, prioritizing my self-care, savoring those relationships I create with my clients, savoring my wonderful friendships, returning to my deep-seated desire to help the planet evolve, and doing the things that feed my spirit on the daily! I have a renewed determination and love for these hashtags (Luna would make fun of me for saying that!) #slowliving #slowpregnancy #simplicityparenting #intentionalliving #slowpostpartum #simpleliving #sacredbirth and above all… #matriarchalways I am determined to be a model for a new way of doing business, a new way of supporting women and it will be while also supporting and loving myself as a woman and as a mother….#matriarchalways (told you it was my...

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A Student Midwife’s Perspective on Spiritual Midwifery

Posted on Apr 15, 2013

This is originally an essay I wrote nearly 2 years ago.  It was beautifully formatted and first published in Holistic Birth of Orlando‘s blog.  I am now sharing it here. In an effort to understand and clarify my own views and philosophies on midwifery I feel inspired to write about what I see around me, what I’m struggling with, and what I know is true for me. As a senior student midwife only 6 months away from licensure I have many pressing thoughts about what to do when that time comes. From day one I’ve contemplated and imagined how I could practice and what it could look like. Throughout my training I’ve been exposed to various styles of midwifery practice and several different midwives. I’ve learned about what I like and don’t like, what certain clients are receptive to, what I think I want to incorporate in my own practice and what I don’t. My struggle continues to be in finding a place to incorporate Spirit in my practice of midwifery. I know it’s possible because this was in fact my introduction to midwifery. I had read Ina May Gaskin’s Spiritual Midwifery and had also met some beautiful women I considered to be spiritual midwives. As I get closer to the day when I will have the opportunity to practice in a way that resonates with me, in my mind and heart I start to blend the practical aspects of midwifery with my own philosophies about pregnancy and birth and my role in it as a midwife. Having been on the other side of this relationship as a homebirth mother and client to a midwife, I bring this perspective with me. In fact, I was first a homebirth mother and midwifery client before I ever experienced it from this side as the midwife. I often reflect on the kind of midwife I want for myself and the kind of midwife I will be in practice. I am someone who believes very strongly in doing personal growth work, internal work…spiritual work. I value spiritual growth very much and I gravitate towards others that feel the same, including the midwife I chose for my own birth. I value it in every single aspect of life, and because I am a mother, I’m aware of the implications of this work for myself and my child. Throughout my midwifery training I’ve wondered how I would integrate this in my practice of midwifery. The models I once had to show me how to begin to do this have since moved away while other mentors I’ve had have been long distance. I try to reflect back to my experiences with these women but my memory of them is only as a mother, client, and friend, not as a midwife. In these recent weeks I’ve allowed myself to be with all of these thoughts and reflect on it all. I’ve known for a long time that the window of pregnancy and childbearing years in a woman’s life could be a powerful catalyst for personal growth. I experienced this myself before the birth of my child and it continues to be a source of motivation and inspiration for growth. When I reflect on my own pregnancy, future pregnancies, and clients’ pregnancies I’m convinced that doing the internal work of healing limiting beliefs, stuck patterns of thinking, old wounds, and fears is the true work of pregnancy. Not the idea of reading every pregnancy book, learning every technique and every aspect of the mechanics of birth that is commonly emphasized in prenatal education. Don’t get me wrong, I do feel these things are important and I encourage my clients to prepare themselves in these ways, however, in my opinion it shouldn’t end there. This is only half of the picture. Doing the internal work of healing our relationship to ourselves, our bodies, our sexuality, our mothers, and our own birth experiences is very helpful for the baby we are gestating and bringing into the world. Doing this work raises the vibration into which our babies will be born....

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