7 Times around the Sun

Next month I celebrate my sweet child’s 7th year on the planet.  It  brings up so much emotion just thinking about it and allowing myself to feel it.  Words can’t possibly describe the depth of my love for her.  Seven years ago my world was rocked in the most magnificent of ways.  My beautiful Luna Jane has blown my heart wide open and catapulted my spiritual growth in ways I couldn’t have imagined.

Before she even entered my body, her spirit, floating in the ethers, began to shape and change my life.  I had an unconscious but deep awareness of my need to heal and transcend aspects of myself that haunted and controlled me, those default patterns that stemmed from childhood.  I knew that when the time came to be a mother I needed to have greater self-awareness, understanding, and healing for the sake of my child.  Four years later I became her mother in flesh and blood and I am so blessed…

Every year I reflect on my child’s coming into my life and how our paths are connected forever.  This year, her 7th year, especially marks an important transition for her in spiritual, emotional, and mental evolution.  Rudolf Steiner, the great teacher of Anthroposophy, and Joseph Chilton Pearce, author of  one of my favorite books, Magical Child, both acknowledge this beautiful transition in their works.  My sweet girl has already begun to transition from imitating and identifying with her mother to developing her own sense of self and relationship to the world.  In Magical Child, Joseph Chilton Pearce refers to this as the transition from “mother as matrix to world as matrix”.  A concept that, for me, is both fascinating and mystical.

Here is another bit on child development written by Kelly Bartlett in her blog Parenting From Scratch:

“Seven years is a significant milestone in a child development. Many psychologists divide childhood into various stages of  different types of development, and they all seem to agree on the seven year change.  At this time a child is experiencing several kinds of developmental milestones at once. By age seven…

Children have gone through 2 out of 4 stages of cognitive development.

• Sensorimotor (ages 0-2) in which learning comes from sensory perceptions and motor activities.
• Preoperational (ages 2-7) in which thinking occurs through symbols and language. Memory and imagination are strongly developed during this stage. Jean Piaget’s stages of cognitive development

Children have gone through 3 out of 8 stages of social development.

• Trust vs. Mistrust (ages 0-18m) is about learning trust in those who care for you. Being able to trust caregivers means being able to trust the world.
• Autonomy vs. Doubt (ages 18m-3y) is about children venturing out and asserting their will. A child in this stage develops self-sufficient behaviors and a strong sense of autonomy.
• Initiative vs Guilt. (ages 3-6) is about the development of courage and independence. A child builds upon her sense of autonomy by beginning and completing actions for a purpose. Erik Erikson’s stages of psychosocial development)

Children have gone through all six stages of attachment with a primary caregiver.

• Being With (age 0-1). The most basic level of attachment, this age is about engagement. Engaging the senses, touching, holding, cuddling, feeding, eye contact, smiling, giving nonverbal cues.
• Being Close (age 1-2).  Realizing what we have in common. We understand how we are similar, our commonalities, shared interests. Gordon Neufeld calls this stage “samesies.”
• Being on the Same Side (age 3-4). We come to develop a sense of belonging and loyalty. A child knows, “I belong here with you. We are together and are on the same side.”
• Being Held Dear (age 4-5). At this level of attachment, a child feels significant. “I matter to you. I have an important place here.”
• Being Loved (age 5-6). Children understand that beyond being the same and being held dear, they are loved. It comes from the heart; to be loved is a feeling of great emotion. Kids need to feel loved above all.
• Being Known (age 6-7). The final stage of a child’s attachment is when things get personal. At this point, a child feels trust, significance, love, commonalities, belonging…that is, they feel close enough to divulge deeply personal information. They want to share their secrets, their fears, their anger, their hopes, and their dreams. “To tell you everything is to know me.” Gordon Neufeld’s Six Stages of Attachment

There’s a lot to be said for the adage, “Give me a child until he is seven, and I will give you the man.” So much brain development occurs in the first seven years of life!  The neural pathways that form create a foundation for lifelong behavior, learning, and relationships.”

As my Luna enters her next stage of development I feel grateful that we get the awesome opportunity to walk this path as mother and daughter.  My magical child will continue to inspire me, surprise me, and be my greatest spiritual teacher.  Here’s to the next 7 years of being your mama my beautiful girl.  I love you to the moon and all the way back <3