Two Years Later

Posted on Jan 10, 2019

Lake Eola Farmer’s Market on Sundays Wow…having a baby can certainly put a hold on a lot of things! In the last two years rather than slowing down, I have been a very, VERY busy midwife. I thought I would have the opportunity to savor my children more by joining a large, multi-midwife birth center practice and putting my small, private practice on hold. At the time, with a new, barely one year old baby I was struggling with the demands of owning a business and practicing as a midwife within that business. What I learned during these last two years both from a clinical standpoint and as a business owner was invaluable. I’m grateful for the experience in more ways than I can say. One of the things I realized in the process was how I had put my own vision on the back burner out of just plain fear. I am a huge advocate for people living life more fully, being happy, following their bliss, and creating what it is we want in life NOW. Yet, there I was, not living out what I truly believed in my heart. I was serving families…many, many families, yet I felt stretched thin with hardly anything left for myself or my children. Something had to change. Something had to give. I knew I would not let that ‘something’ be mine or my children’s emotional well-being. We are much too precious and our relationship much too important for me to let that happen. It was time to return to my vision and to my beautiful, cozy, and intimate ‘Sacred Birth’ practice. It was time to re-calibrate and re-align with my beliefs. It was time to build the sisterhood I really craved in midwifery and to build community around that sisterhood. I had some additional clarity in the process. I remembered that I am also a true advocate of bringing birth back home (for low-risk, healthy women). HOME is where I truly feel babies should be born. Not only to protect their precious micro biome but because I feel it is the natural order of things. After all, home is where the love that made this baby likely grew. Home is where this baby was likely conceived. Home is where it’s mama likely feels most comfortable, thereby ‘feeding’ her baby all those wonderful, feel-good hormones. Home is likely where it’s mama feels safest to ‘let go’, a process she must do in order to give birth. I know home birth is not for everyone and I appreciate the institutions that are in place for those families that don’t align with the idea. Birthing centers are a beautiful option for some families and serve as a cultural ‘in-between’ comfort zone between home and hospital. I feel they are needed in all communities. In re-aligning with my beliefs I realized I need to place my energy and attention on the change I actually wish to see. I need to ‘do’ midwifery in a way that feeds my soul and that will only be possible by balancing it with my needs as a mother and as a woman. It will be possible by slowing down and savoring my children, prioritizing my self-care, savoring those relationships I create with my clients, savoring my wonderful friendships, returning to my deep-seated desire to help the planet evolve, and doing the things that feed my spirit on the daily! I have a renewed determination and love for these hashtags (Luna would make fun of me for saying that!) #slowliving #slowpregnancy #simplicityparenting #intentionalliving #slowpostpartum #simpleliving #sacredbirth and above all… #matriarchalways I am determined to be a model for a new way of doing business, a new way of supporting women and it will be while also supporting and loving myself as a woman and as a mother….#matriarchalways (told you it was my...

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Managing Motherhood in a New World ~ Guest Post

Posted on Aug 11, 2015

Managing Motherhood in a New World ~ Guest Post

In 2006 as I was awaiting the birth of my first child and eager to continue my self-exploration and self-awakening, I was introduced to a set of tools and exercises that would change my life forever.  I was introduced to the Avatar Course by some dear friends who had recently attended.  I attended the course even though I was due to give birth within a couple of weeks!  Thankfully I finished the course without going into labor! What I gained from this experience has helped me immensely not just when it came time to birth my daughter but throughout motherhood.  It is why I refer to this journey of mothering as a spiritual path.  With these tools I have learned how to better control my mind, direct my attention, and deliberatly create my life.  I have learned appreciation for all experiences and compassion for all beings and their experiences.  These things have been invaluable to my motherhood path and life journey.  Without them I would fall victim to circumstance and old life patterns.  With them I am empowered and in charge of my life.  It is from this space that I wish to raise my children. Recently my friend Karen Noelle, with whom I am honored to help teach the Avatar Course to hundreds of people ready to make a change, had a beautiful and awakening experience connecting to a group of mamas.  She shares her experience in the following post which I am happy to share here! ~Michelle   I was invited to speak at the Tree of Life Birthing Center in Orlando last week. It was “National Latch On Day!” This meant that at 10:30am EST, mothers across the nation were breast feeding their children simultaneously. My original plan was to talk about personal development, how beliefs effect your reality and then lead them into a guided compassion exercise. Well that plan went right out the window! There were moms everywhere tending to crying or hunger or their preschool siblings who were busy exploring the facility. I did however have the opportunity to engage with them and ask them about their challenges and concerns as mothers. When one answered, the rest agreed. I was surprised and intrigued by their answers. One of the greatest concerns across the board was comparing their children. Wow, that was certainly unexpected and I was really interested in that. They were comparing how they were learning, their size, how they were breast feeding, if they were using the right methods or medicines, and the list went on. Not only do we compare ourselves as adults, but there was a comparison game happening with the children. It made me wonder if that’s where it really begins? What if we were all confident in our decisions, trusted our own path and intuition and were happy and content with our individual journeys? Would the comparison game end? I would imagine. This also told me why learning to control and quiet your own mind as a mother can be invaluable. There is a need for our sabatoging thoughts to be put to rest and to be at peace with ourselves, our children and the lives we are creating. They also expressed concern with losing their identity as a woman and not being able to create balance in the roles they play. As a former daycare teacher and nanny I heard this time and again with parents. The children become their whole world and they lose sense of who they really are. Your needs aren’t met, so neither are the children’s really, even though the “right” action steps are being taken day in and day out. Are you really present? Are you engaged or are you daydreaming and thinking about what is next on your list that day? Once again, learning how to control and manage your own mind becomes invaluable. I am going to offer to you that there is a solution. There are effective tools that can show you the inner workings of your own unique mind. You can stop the tapes that are playing....

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7 Times around the Sun

Posted on Oct 23, 2013

Next month I celebrate my sweet child’s 7th year on the planet.  It  brings up so much emotion just thinking about it and allowing myself to feel it.  Words can’t possibly describe the depth of my love for her.  Seven years ago my world was rocked in the most magnificent of ways.  My beautiful Luna Jane has blown my heart wide open and catapulted my spiritual growth in ways I couldn’t have imagined. Before she even entered my body, her spirit, floating in the ethers, began to shape and change my life.  I had an unconscious but deep awareness of my need to heal and transcend aspects of myself that haunted and controlled me, those default patterns that stemmed from childhood.  I knew that when the time came to be a mother I needed to have greater self-awareness, understanding, and healing for the sake of my child.  Four years later I became her mother in flesh and blood and I am so blessed… Every year I reflect on my child’s coming into my life and how our paths are connected forever.  This year, her 7th year, especially marks an important transition for her in spiritual, emotional, and mental evolution.  Rudolf Steiner, the great teacher of Anthroposophy, and Joseph Chilton Pearce, author of  one of my favorite books, Magical Child, both acknowledge this beautiful transition in their works.  My sweet girl has already begun to transition from imitating and identifying with her mother to developing her own sense of self and relationship to the world.  In Magical Child, Joseph Chilton Pearce refers to this as the transition from “mother as matrix to world as matrix”.  A concept that, for me, is both fascinating and mystical. Here is another bit on child development written by Kelly Bartlett in her blog Parenting From Scratch: “Seven years is a significant milestone in a child development. Many psychologists divide childhood into various stages of  different types of development, and they all seem to agree on the seven year change.  At this time a child is experiencing several kinds of developmental milestones at once. By age seven… Children have gone through 2 out of 4 stages of cognitive development. Sensorimotor (ages 0-2) in which learning comes from sensory perceptions and motor activities. Preoperational (ages 2-7) in which thinking occurs through symbols and language. Memory and imagination are strongly developed during this stage. Jean Piaget’s stages of cognitive development Children have gone through 3 out of 8 stages of social development. Trust vs. Mistrust (ages 0-18m) is about learning trust in those who care for you. Being able to trust caregivers means being able to trust the world. Autonomy vs. Doubt (ages 18m-3y) is about children venturing out and asserting their will. A child in this stage develops self-sufficient behaviors and a strong sense of autonomy. Initiative vs Guilt. (ages 3-6) is about the development of courage and independence. A child builds upon her sense of autonomy by beginning and completing actions for a purpose. Erik Erikson’s stages of psychosocial development) Children have gone through all six stages of attachment with a primary caregiver. Being With (age 0-1). The most basic level of attachment, this age is about engagement. Engaging the senses, touching, holding, cuddling, feeding, eye contact, smiling, giving nonverbal cues. Being Close (age 1-2).  Realizing what we have in common. We understand how we are similar, our commonalities, shared interests. Gordon Neufeld calls this stage “samesies.” Being on the Same Side (age 3-4). We come to develop a sense of belonging and loyalty. A child knows, “I belong here with you. We are together and are on the same side.” Being Held Dear (age 4-5). At this level of attachment, a child feels significant. “I matter to you. I have an important place here.” Being Loved (age 5-6). Children understand that beyond being the same and being held dear, they are loved. It comes from the heart; to be loved is a feeling of great emotion. Kids need to feel loved above all. Being Known (age 6-7). The final stage of a child’s attachment is when things...

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